Self-Actualisation is Hard

Self-Actualization is Hard
Journal of Human Potential
JHP: Volume 1 Issue 10
By: Dr. John P. DeMann

Before we begin I want to make certain I am not discouraging you when I say that Self-Actualization is Hard. The term Self-Actualization comes from the famous Psychologist Abraham Maslow who believed that humans sought to become self-actualized which means that they were driven to become all that they were capable of becoming. In reality he looked at the term Peak Experience as does Csikszentmihalyi to be an experience of happiness and contentment. In other words to Maslow Self-Actualization occurs when one is content with
his or her being.

I will define it a little different here because I believe that Self-Actualization is something a bit more, not that Maslow was wrong, I only want to use a different term because I believe that humans seek
something more, they seek to strive to be the best they can be in whatever they are doing as long as the person likes what they are doing. In other words, today many will not reach this state because if the activity is not
what they like they will avoid the activity all together.

I think today too many people are doing jobs they hate and in turn are not turning out the best they can do. I am not saying that people are bad in nature because of this; however I do believe that we need to re-evaluate our position when it comes to completing the task of living in all areas of life both personally and professionally. I want to use the term Optimum which I will define here as a person's ability to reach their full potential and use their full potential in all
they do. There is no doubt that we all want to love our work and I believe if we all did love our work we would be producing much more then we already are. I also believe however that in order to love life we must love what we do as well so if we want to see optimum in people we are going to have to make sure that people are performing tasks that they love to perform.
The truth however is that not everything we do is going to be something we love to do so we need to understand that life is more than just doing something you love to do, it is doing what we love to do with the
understanding that at times we are going to face activities that really are a pain in the you know what. How can we make sure that we do our best even in activity that we are not so fond of? The answer is one of ethics.

Today personal development has really started to move in a direction that boarder's mysticism in some ways. For example, The Secrete is not at all something that some sneaky people have hidden from the rest of us. In fact,
everything that is in the movie and the book has been very open to the public for thousands of years, but even more important it has been around the last 100 years with two writers Napoleon Hill and one who really wrote
in depth about it Robert Collier in a book called Secrete of the Ages.

Please understand that I think it is great that people want to write a book that gives secretes, but I am a bit concerned when they use a title that only draws people to the book under, what I think is false pretense. There
is no secret to success and I assure you that if you sit in your house or office all day long and wish to have your bills paid by having a magical experience happen like a Jeanie placing the money you need in your wallet
without you noticing you are in for a long wait. One motivational speaker says it this way: you can wish there to be no weeds in your garden all day long, but if you do not get out there and pull them there will be weeds in your garden tomorrow.
What scares me the most about this whole concept of a secret is that this is the type of thinking that occurred in the dark ages, please don't tell me we
are heading that way again? If I have anything to do with it I am going to expose this crap as much as I can because I am sorry there is no way that you are going to be able to think something into happening without the
second most important part of a success formula and that is action.

Action is the key to success, but that does not mean it is the only step. Of course we need to start with a thought, but once you decide what needs to be
done then action is needed to get it turned into reality. I look at success this way: Observation + Perception=Reality. Let's take it even further:
Reality is what we believe to be true via our interpretation of what we believe. With this in mind then we can say that belief is the starting point
since our beliefs are the filters that affect the interpretation we will have on our observation and perceptions.

Now, if what we see is our own reality then that means that what we see is our reality only and that reality is what we will use to interpret what we need to do in order to accomplish a desired result. Without making this difficult then let us just say that our ability to reach Optimum is going to be based on what we believe we are capable of and I will tell you that hoping that you will attract something into your life by thinking about it will only bring frustration and another failed technique. I will go as far to say as well that even if this could happen we would be in a great deal of
trouble, why? Because in order to feel like we are successful we need to be challenged in action and if the Secret were true then no one would ever be challenged and life would become very boring and often very depressing.

Research has shown that for anyone to complete a task they must feel that the task has a bit of challenge to it. In fact, if the challenge is not enough we will procrastinate doing the task. The same is true if the task is to difficult, if we think we cannot do a task we will likely not take action as well. The point is this; we need to perform tasks that meet our own
personal abilities to create enough challenge to keep us focused on the work or activity at hand. When I talk about reaching Optimum I am suggesting that
we challenge ourselves enough to reach a level of effort that requires our optimum ability. I also suggest that when this is done on a regular basis we reach what I call true happiness.

In life all we do is tied to the need to feel a certain way. Think about it, in the morning when you wake up you get out of bed to create a state. For example, if you are like me I love getting out of bed because I love to
exercise first thing in the morning. The truth is I am addicted to getting up and doing my exercise routine first thing in the morning. It gives me a real sense of accomplishment, but it gives me something even more, it gives me a high because when I exercise I am releasing endorphins that make us feel good. This is true of all activity whether you are working, making love, having a debate about something you believe in etc... All our actions produce a chemical release that serves our state.

When we are looking to accomplish a difficult task we are doing so to experience the feeling that we will achieve when we complete the task. When Maslow spoke of Self-Actualization he was really talking about the state we feel when we reach what he called a peak experience. When we experience this state we are focused and nothing else matters. Optimum is the same, I just like Optimum better because it allows us to understand what the state does to us, and it makes us operate optimally.
A study done on peak experiences showed that there are 8 components that people experience when they reach this level of consciousness or should I say the state of optimum:

1. The goal is clear that they are going after
2. The actions they are taking are bringing them closer to achieving the goal
3. The task has enough of a challenge to meet the abilities of the person but not too much
4. The person is focused on the activity
5. Everyday frustrations are non existent
6. A sense of control is experienced
7. The individual is not focused on themselves, again they are focused only on the task
8. They lose track of time

When someone reaches the state of optimum they are literally transformed into a peak performer. Think about how much work can be done in this state and how much work you could accomplish if you could experience this state daily. The truth is you can experience this state daily by following a simple step by step process. When Maslow spoke of his Self-Actualization he was really talking about needs that someone had to achieve before they could perform at work or in their personal life. In other words I believe he was saying that there is a set of requirements that must be met if one ever wanted to become a fully functioning human being. I am saying something a little different; I am saying that if you want to create the life you have always dreamed of you will need to experience Optimum, but notice to experience this state you need to take action and the
action you take needs to bring you closer to your desired outcome. You cannot sit and hope something to come true, you must work for it. I am also
saying that the work is part of the process to become happy or optimum.

Notice I say happiness here, I believe for anyone to be happy they must be using their talents and they must want to be doing what they are doing if happiness is ever to be realized. As mentioned above as we go through the day we are all seeking to experience a certain state and I believe the state we are after is happiness.
I know that at times we have to experience pain and often we do not associate pain to happiness, but I want to make certain you all understand that happiness is often the result of overcoming a painful experience.

Look at athletes; they will endure great pain to experience winning. I also think that the level of pain we are willing to experience on our way to experiencing pleasure and eventual happiness is directly linked to the amount of happiness we will experience in life. In other words, the more pain or discomfort we have to experience in route to the end desired outcome the greater happiness we will experience in most cases.

Please do not become someone who thinks pain is always good, physical pain is a warning, but I will say that mental pain in terms of having to do activities that are
difficult or some physical pain like normal exercise is required if we are ever to experience true happiness.
Do not get caught up in the trap that someone has a pain free approach to living your dream. For many money is what they define happiness as, but I will remind all my readers and clients that money is only a means to an end.

The truth is that all goals are nothing but the desired reach for something that they want to experience on an emotional level. This means it is not the money that really one is after; it is the feeling that money gives them that creates the desired outcome.

Here is a simple formula you can use to reach Optimum/Happiness daily:
1. Know the goal you are after: State the goal in terms of what you want
emotionally as well as the means in how you will get that emotional state.

For example, if you want to have financial security, an emotion, then you must define how much money you will need to get the emotion of security. The
point I am making is this; if money seems to be your goal please understand that money is not really the goal at all, it is the state or emotional state
that the money will bring you that is the true goal you are after.

2. Define the purpose: for achieving what it is you want emotionally there must be a compelling purpose for achieving the desired outcome. If you want
to lose body fat for example, then state the purpose for attaining the level of body fat you are after. For example, I want to experience life to its fullest when I am older. To experience life to its fullest I need to be in the best possible shape I can be in.

3. Create the actions you must take daily to achieve the emotion or goal you desire: For example, if financial security is the outcome you seek then you
may start by saving 10% of all income. You also may want to pay cash for all purchases and think before you purchase anything to determine if you really
need the item. The key is to get the action in your everyday activities because when you are moving closer to the goal you desire, you will start to
experience the desired outcome i.e. the emotional feelings, before achieving the desired outcome i.e. having financial security.
It is very important to understand that control, as mentioned above in the 8 items that people experience in the state of Optimum, is of significant
importance. When we begin to feel like we are controlling our own environment we begin to feel better about ourselves and in the goal mentioned above, a feeling of control provides us a feeling of security.
It is also very important that you determine your own goals, purposes and action steps to achieve your dreams. When you determine what you want, why you want it and how you will get it you gain a sense of ownership. It is in ownership that we take our greatest responsibility.
There it is a formula you can use to experience life to its fullest and really find true happiness. But remember, action is the key ingredient. This
cannot be attained by thinking it into your life. To attract anything you must take the action that will bring you your desired state. See you next
month and remember; Take Responsibility.

Thanks a Million,

Dr. John P. DeMann
The Pillars of Excellence
7577 Central Parke Blvd., Suite 135
Mason, Ohio
45040
US